Children’s Mental Health Week: How to support your teen’s mental health through term-time

Children’s Mental Health Week takes place over 7th to 13th February 2022, and this year’s theme is ‘Growing Together’. This encourages both children and their parents to consider how they’ve grown and how they can help others grow. A child’s adolescent years are arguably some of the most challenging years they will face subject to making big life choices, pending exams and physiological changes. This makes supporting your teen through this time difficult, and it is important to act sensitively to the various changes they are going through.

That is why the nation’s most-trusted online tutoring platform, MyTutor, have teamed up with Clinical Psychologist Dr Louise Egan in a virtual blog to share her 9 top tips on how to support your child’s mental health through the Spring term.

1. Nurture positive self-esteem
Self-esteem is a fundamental pillar to foster positive emotional and social wellbeing as well as learning. It is therefore vital that it is nurtured to help build growth and encourage positive behaviour. This can be achieved by vocalising that you are proud of them, celebrating their achievements, or vocalising the positive things about themselves. Outcomes of these behaviours can embolden their sense of identity and belonging. Conversely, low self-esteem can lead to worse outcomes including risky social behaviour, depression, and anxiety.

2. Regulate, relate then reason
Also recognised as the Three R’s technique, this is an assured way to soothe your teen when they are distressed or highly aroused. Modelling healthy coping techniques is helpful to your teen, as children are heavily influenced by the experiences and people around them. Firstly, demonstrate to your child how they can regulate, either by deep breathing, grounding, mindfulness, or any alternative calming exercise to diffuse their state. You can then go onto relate to them by reassuring that you understand why they might be frustrated and reinforce the benefits of communication at times of stress. Finally, you can attempt to reason by offering potential solutions or compromises to resolve the matter.

3. Make time to talk
Regular communication is essential for ensuring you understand their needs and are there to support their wellbeing. How they regulate their emotions is largely impacted by those around them, and how they are listened to. In order to help them navigate through tricky and uncomfortable emotions, keep an open, engaged and compassionate approach so they feel comfortable in opening up to you. If a regular channel of communication is there for everyday stuff, this might make it easier for them to share when bigger difficulties come up. Be curious and empathic and just try your best – it’s all you can do!

4. Guide rather than control
Though it may be tempting to instruct your teen, confine them to rules and lay down the laws, this might not have the desired effect. The prefrontal cortex which is the area of the brain responsible for planning, thinking logically, moderating behaviour, and self-awareness and it is going through major transformations in adolescence. Therefore, imposing restrictions might actually delay development and lead to negative behaviours, such as resistance, rebellion and even resentment. Instead, try and foster the fundamentals of positive reinforcement and praise them for good behaviour and help them learn from mistakes about what not to do.

5. Help them grow in their independence
During the teen years, they are more likely to engage in social behaviours, being influenced by their peers and exploring their independence. Although this might be unnerving to some, it is good to encourage healthy independence, peer relationships and exploration. You can do this by setting up opportunities for them to explore situations that are less risky and problematic.

6. Help them make good choices with screen time
It is widely recognised the downfalls associated with social media. Alongside anti-social behaviour it can lead to harmful outcomes such as self-consciousness, eating disorders and cyber bullying. You can help them develop a healthier relationship with themselves and their screen time by talking about the unhelpful messages portrayed in the media. Be mindful of not drilling in the negatives but point them in the right direction of useful resources on how social media can cause distress in teens, and how you can help positively shape their screen time, check out MyTutor’s blog The Screen Time Diet.

7. If you need to, get professional help
Sometimes it can be hard to identify whether symptoms of being a teenager are natural, or indicative of needing professional help. Here are some signs to be wary of before accessing support:

– Consistent emotional difficulties over an extended period of time, more days than not
– Having a significant negative impact on your teen’s engagement in family and social life, as well as their education
– Putting them or others at risk

If any of these sound familiar, it can be a good idea to get a referral to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) or Adult Mental Health Services via your GP or relevant professional (you might be able to self-refer). There are also independent psychological companies and online mental health platforms delivering psychological support for teens, such as Kooth. The NHS also has a library of mental health apps especially for teens, with a whole load of different solutions depending on what they need help with. If it’s academic worries that are getting them down, a mentor-tutor can also work to boost their confidence and make them feel less alone with tricky subjects.

8. Make time for fun
Strengthening your connection by spending regular ‘fun time’ together will provide that secure base which your teen can return to if needs be. Though parenting is a full-time job, factoring in time to have fun together is a crucial bonding skill and lets them know you care. Fun activities also help your teen relax and lead a balanced life. Why not try a film Friday night together at home with some treats? Find out their interests and activities you can engage in together.

9. Be patient
Don’t be disheartened if you as a parent are also struggling through this period. Try and look at the benefits: the adaptive nature of the teenage brain means there are more opportunities for fun, creativity, curious exploration, and learning. Your teen is developing into their own person, putting their unique stamp on the world around them–and that is something to celebrate.

Bertie Hubbard, co-founder of EdTech platform MyTutor, discusses how his platform provides pastoral support to all children:

“Children are in more need than ever for some support and reassurance with their studies, and that’s exactly what our tutors offer. Our tutors are all from UK universities, and because they’re just a few years older they can easily relate to what teens are going through. With their dedicated one-to-one support, teens get some much-needed reassurance and come out with a stronger self-belief – 88% say that lessons made them feel more confident.

Rather than replacing teachers with robots, the biggest power of EdTech lies in enhancing person-to-person learning. At MyTutor, we provide online tuition that raises kids’ grades, boosts confidence, and helps them fulfil their potential in life. Because it’s online, kids get access to amazing tutors from across the country, rather than whoever’s nearby. As there’s no travel for the student or the tutors, it also saves time and money travelling – reducing the cost and stress involved for parents.”