HOW TOXIC POSITIVITY ON SOCIAL MEDIA DAMAGES YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

Almost everyone of a certain age follows an influencer on social media these days, and so many of those personalities use their platform to preach messages of always thinking positively. But is that always a good thing?

‘Toxic positivity’ is the term used to describe the mentality that positive thinking is the only solution to problems, and that a person should avoid negative thinking or expressing negative emotions. Essentially, it is the belief that no matter how dire or difficult a situation is, people should maintain a positive mindset. But in a world consumed by poor mental health, what is this doing to the wellbeing of others?

Denise Collins, a psychological therapist coach and trainer from Hummingbird Effect (www.hummingbirdeffect.com), said: “Toxic positivity is bad for everyone’s mental health. Positivity is great when it’s a reflection of a genuinely positive attitude – a kind of “whatever happens, I know I will cope” mentality. But if you’re made to feel bad just because you feel anything less than totally happy when life is falling apart, this is unhealthy because it invalidates the expression of authentic emotion. And even worse is the implication that you are somehow to blame for misfortune because of manifesting the bad stuff through negative thinking.”

Wellbeing consultant Cat Duval (www.catduval.co.uk) said social media can cause people to measure their own self-worth against influencers who appear to live amazing, positive lives, and then feel negative about themselves as a result.

She says: “If happiness is the absence of comparison and contentment in the present moment, then unhappiness is the opposite of that. One aspect of that is ‘comparative mind’ – an example of this is when we scroll through social media. Positivity becomes toxic when it bypasses the reality that we all fluctuate in our emotional and mental wellbeing, as a natural part of being alive. Never compare other

peoples’ edited highlights with your own life. Toxic positivity is a kind of spiritual bypassing that must be met with radical honesty.”

Jessica Rosset, Jungian analyst at Velvet Venus (www.velvet-venus.com), said that thinking or acting positively doesn’t always achieve happiness, and instead causes us further distress when we don’t achieve that desired positive outcome.

She says: “Toxic positivity brings with it the need to defend at all costs the idea that positive thinking has the power to create reality, that it can solve any problem the person is going through and that problems are created exclusively by negative thoughts or lack of positivity.

“Society teaches us that something positive will always be good, even in excess. Too much happiness is toxic as is too much sadness. It is impossible to be happy without experiencing moments of sadness, unhappiness and depression. Those who expect to be happy only quickly become frustrated when other emotions or feelings arise, making them more easily dominate the attitudes and behaviours of individuals. Some situations require that we face reality, instead of masking it with false hopes.”

Jessica shares some final words about how to avoid believing everything we see online, and avoid feeling less worthy than others based on a few photos of someone else’s life.

“Don’t rush your process by comparing yourself to other people, especially online when we see only what the other person wants to show. Remember that you don’t know what the other person is dealing with just by the photos they post on social networks. Focus on your journey.

“The truth is, we don’t live in a race where we need to be happy all the time or that we need to be happier than others. We don’t even have the obligation, we just have the right to be happy, if we want to.”

Counsellor Wendy Andrew, of the Scottish Pet Bereavement Counselling Service www.thescottishpetbereavementcounsellingservice.com), added: “It is so important to acknowledge the emotions we experience to work through and process them. I believe that toxic positivity is quite dangerous and encourages people to mask their feelings, and not seek help or confide in anyone who might be able to support them. I have often stated ‘You need to feel to heal.'”

“I completely understand the ‘aspirational lifestyle’ that many bloggers, celebrities etc like to promote on social media to boost their brand however, that is not realistic or attainable for most people and can often make them feel bad about themselves instead of feeling inspired. If we were all a bit more honest and responsible with what we post on social media we could do so much good and normalise the issues that people face every day but are reluctant to talk about for fear of how it will appear to others or that it’s not on brand.”