Ghostwriter opens up on harrowing upbringing
A ghostwriter from Essex is encouraging people to write away their childhood trauma in her new semi-autobiographical novel.
Kym Vincenti, 58, helps to write and publish books for entrepreneurs through Conker Press.
She is now using her unusual upbringing and teenage angst to help others regain control of their lives.
Her book Write to Feel Better teaches others to journal and help find out where original thoughts stem from to get a long-term fix, not a short-term solution.
Kym, of Leigh-on-Sea, said: “Everyone is carrying something from their childhood that doesn’t belong to them. As an author, I write about my life experiences, which have often been more daring because I’ve had nothing to lose. It’s important to remember that your life is your life and the only limitations are the ones you put on yourself.”
Kym was born in the 1960s by a young mother but was raised by her grandparents in East London.
She said: “I was adored by my grandparents, I was spoilt and had the best of everything. Due to growing up in this impoverished area, wearing the best shoes and pretty clothing to school meant I was bullied a lot by other children and had no real friends.”
Her grandmother, who had suffered from rheumatoid arthritis since her late 20s, tragically died just days before Kym’s 13th birthday.
She said: “I couldn’t deal with the loss, so I turned rebellious. My granddad consequently had a bit of a breakdown and sent me to live with my mother who had remarried but we didn’t get on and I ended up going into care. I’d always carried the sense of abandonment as a child and it all left me feeling as though I was a defect, completely unwanted.”
Carrying these feelings of being worthless and unloved, she ended up homeless numerous times as a teen. Kym began self-harming at just 17 years old, using substance and alcohol abuse to ease the suffering and fill the void in her life.
She said: “It was a complete culture shock to go from being a loved child to walking the streets alone. When you’re vulnerable and nobody cares for you, it’s like bad people can smell it on you and take advantage. Throughout the years if I sought help, I’d be passed on from one therapist to the next. My issues stemmed from childhood and I had too many subjects for one person to focus on.”
Pregnant and homeless at 25, Kym was housed in a hostel in Holborn with an alcoholic and prostitute for roommates. She knew she had to escape the chaos and abuse but struggled to find a haven for her and her baby.
She said: “The council wouldn’t entertain me for housing and I ended up in a convent in Victoria. It was used as a ‘holiday home’ for young girls from Ireland who would stay there until they gave birth, then return home, leaving their babies at the hospital. It was a heartbreaking situation for them to be in.”
At seven months into her pregnancy, she suffered from pre-eclampsia and spent two months on bed rest in the hospital, eventually undergoing an emergency caesarean.
She said: “When I woke up with a tag around my toe, I knew I’d died at some point. It was a real wake-up call that made me realise I wasn’t just responsible for just myself anymore. I had to sort my life out and start caring about it now I had a baby.”
Working her way from temporary housing to landing a proper job, Kym has overcome her trauma and tragedy through her writing and wants to help others do the same by sharing her story.
She added: “I don’t think you get anywhere without being vocal. It was an extension of who I am as a person, I’m driven by helping others as it’s easier to help when you’ve been there yourself. Be kind if you can and help when you can.”
